 |
| Elvis created a routine making sure Priscilla always has fresh flowers. |
"It's because of my previous marriage," says Priscilla . She married young and divorced young. This experience caused a major growth in character.
"I realize now that people come whole, not in slices." Priscilla accepts completely both the good things about Elvis and the challenges.
"I'm also more focused on results than process." To illustrate this, she gives the example of flowers.
"When we first started dating, I told Elvis I really liked fresh flowers. He bought me flowers and then every time they die, he replaces them with fresh ones. Before I would have gotten hung up on the routine -- because they weren't a spontaneous gift I wouldn't accept them as a symbol of love. But now I'm just happy I get flowers. Results!"
I need to change my thinking about Brock. I'm coming to the realization that it is unfair to ascribe the thought process of an NT man to an Aspie man. I would love to get "I love you" texts from Brock during the day so I would know he was thinking about me. But Brock would never think to do this spontaneously, it would have to be routine. But the routine would diminish the meaning... This is the wrong thinking. I have to understand that just because something is routine doesn't make it less loving. In fact, creating a routine that only benefits the partner may be the way that an Aspie man shows his love.
I like this. He makes sure she's never without flowers, something she likes.
ReplyDeleteI recently was looking at the Love Languages thing (can't remember the site now, but it's an easy google search) and figured out that I show love toward other people by doing things for them. I'm not a toucher, a hugger, I don't really verbalize that I love you, but I will be happy to take care of the house, do the laundry, make you dinner, things like that.
My husband, the NT in our relationship, is more physical with his affections and it's a challenge for us to meet in the middle on that. I think, on one level, that he sort of resents that I ask him to do so much for me, but it's a way of me making sure I get the "I love you" that I understand. And at the same time, I try to tolerate the kisses and the close physical space and touch that he craves. And I try to show that for him without being asked. Not always successfully, but I try. lol
GREAT post - love it! Must share with my Aspergian husband! :)
ReplyDeleteIf we take the time to make you a priority that is showing love because we can and will set our priorities as we see fit and if you are important enough to be figured in that says a lot.
ReplyDelete